Q&A

Greetings humans. So, for this article, I decided to do a Q&A. I would like to thank all those who sent me their questions and I hope my answers satisfy them.

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How do you deal with patriarchy? As in someone pointing out you shouldn’t do what you’re doing because you’re a girl?

- Reha

There are 3 things that I did that I would advise you to do as well. Note, it all depends on which kind of person you are dealing with.

Number 1. Question that person. If someone is pressuring you not to do or to do something because you are a girl, demand logical explanations. Ask them pertinent questions on this issue which will get them thinking for a while and hopefully, gradually change their ways of viewing a certain gender as being inferior to the other. Simple example, how does a vagina stop you from doing sports? 

Number 2. Stand up for yourself. If that person is being oppressive, just say no. I think many traditional families are like tiny dictatorships. What the one with the most power says goes around and that is wrong. And ironically, at some point they want us to be independent all the while following word to word what is being said to us. What I did was stating that I am open to pieces of advice but not to orders. If I want to do something you can counsel but not order. It will be difficult at first but with time you will hopefully see a change.

Number 3. People will always have something to say no matter what you do, what you say or what you wear. If you want to do something and your cause is justifiable, voluntary and most importantly, you are safe, go ahead. Let the little minds speak and you do your thing. 

However, never belittle that person for the way he/she sees the world. We have all grown up in a certain way and we all have to respect each other. If a person is being oppressive, diplomatically and respectfully show your stand no matter how tense the situation becomes. 

What do you think about the whole soul concept?

- Tushita

Well I will be truthful and admit that I have no facts as to whether souls are immortal or that events like rebirth and the afterlife are real. I also cannot give an exact definition of what a soul or the soul concept really is since, in my opinion, it can be quite subjective to the person. So, I can only speculate.

In this line, I would just like to give you my own definition of a soul. A soul to me is the untouchable part of our body. It is made up of energy and entails our thoughts, consciousness, character, perception, emotions and you get the idea.

Personally, I think this concept is completely fascinating. Just think about it. We are 7 billion people on this earth and not even two of us are completely alike! Even identical twins who are exposed to the exact same environment are not necessarily completely identical. Hence, saying each soul is unique makes perfect sense to me.

I also have a theory that every time you meet a person, you both exchange a tiny bit of your soul with each other. If I try to paint my soul on a piece of paper, it will basically be some sort of mashed up mosaic; a huge part which is ‘me’ and hundreds of thousands of tiny colourful pieces from all the people I have met so far sticking to the ‘me’ part. Am I making sense?

Do dogs from different countries understand each other’s’ barking?

- Matthew

I do not know why but I keep imagining two dogs from different countries conversing in their native languages with each other and not having a clue of what the other one is saying but they just keep on communicating and wagging their tails because dogs are not only a human’s best friend but also each other’s best friend, you know?

To answer your question, I’d say no. I think animals have their own secret codes. They could be planning to overthrow us, who knows? Also, I love dogs. Just saying.

What’s the one thing you’d like to change about yourself?

- Benazir

Without doubt that will be my memory. I am very bad at remembering things, especially faces. There are many moments and memories I would love to never forget and cherish forever but I tend to forget a lot. Also, as mentioned, my brain is irritably incapable of storing names and associating them with faces, especially people I rarely meet or people I have just met. It gets worse when I know them on social media and cannot recognise them in real life. This happens to me so often I’m kind of embarrassed. I know I may come off as arrogant to some, but believe me when I say that I feel really bad when someone knows my name and I do not know theirs. So, I would like to apologise if ever I have ever offended someone whenever I had a brain freeze. It is not intentional.

What was the best phase in your life?

- Benazir

Most probably back in 2014 when I really blossomed. I used to be a different person but that year I morphed into someone new. I became much stronger, more outspoken. I also learned to stand up for myself and let go of most, if not all, of any insecurities I had. I had begun filtering my relationships, and I still do, in the sense that I removed any negative person from my life. I got closer to people who mean the world to me now. So yeah, 2014 it is.

If you are in a bad mood, do you prefer to be left alone or have someone to cheer you up?

- Benazir

That actually depends to what extent and for what reason my mood is bad.

If I am only irritated, I need to rant to someone and most of the time it is complete gibberish but it helps me clear my thoughts and see the situation perhaps more objectively. Just need to get the emotions out of the system first. In this case, I like the company of someone who’ll just listen and not say a thing until I’m calm enough.

If I am in a moderately bad mood, I need to rant again but perhaps less. Let’s just say that I am quite short-tempered and my tempers are bad. In this case I sometimes like to be left alone to think. Up to now, only a few people can actually manage to cheer me up when I am like this. 

If I am in a really bad mood, I’d rather be left alone. This is because I can be very cruel and I tend to say very hurtful things which I do not mean and I would normally never say. Obviously, I end up regretting a lot afterwards. Main reason why I stay quiet and stay as far as possible away from human contact until I have calmed down.

When have you felt your biggest adrenaline rush?

- Benazir

This will most probably be when I once went snorkelling into the deep waters. Taking into account that I may have watched way too many shark movies, I was hesitant and scared to jump into the water. When I did after a lot of self-talk, I kept near the boat or the rope that was attached to the anchor. I was admiring the fish (also surveying for the presence of any shark) when someone threw bread near where I was. My head was still underwater and I literally saw hundreds of fish swimming towards me. I genuinely believed that I was being attacked (or that a shark was scaring them away and that it was going to eat me) and was swarmed by them. They were so many and so near I had a panic attack underwater (I am also claustrophobic) and I had trouble breathing and thinking. I swam back to the boat as fast as I could, took time to calm down and never got back into the water that day.

What do you think about when you’re by yourself?

- Benazir

This depends. Sometimes I think of thousands of things one after the another and other times my brain just goes blank. More often though, I make up scenarios of how some situations would have been if things had gone a little differently and I have some existential crisis. How did life come to be? What was there before the big bang? What was there before the universe? Are parallel worlds possible and if so, how different is the other me? Am I being watched and monitored by aliens? And well you get the idea.

What are your views about premarital sex? And how do you feel about sex being such a taboo issue here in Mauritius?

- Anonymous

I believe that marriage is just a social contract that legally binds a person to you but does not make it a certainty that that person will be alongside you till death does you apart. There is nothing wrong in sex whether it be premarital or postnuptial as long as you are mature enough to be aware of what you are doing and have not been manipulated into doing it. 

As to premarital sex being a taboo, I really do not understand why we give so much importance to preserving our virginities unless, of course, it is about avoiding pregnancy or contracting sexually transmitted diseases but these too come with many solutions. Other than that, it makes absolutely no sense to me.

I think most of us are too unhealthily curious and fish for all sorts of drama to gossip about. I also think that many of us fear making decisions that we will regret afterwards but we tend to forget that life is not meant to be lived perfectly. Nobody is flawless and we are all bound to make mistakes that we will regret. However, as long as we enjoyed it in the moment, there is nothing to regret about. Lastly, I think our culture or society is such that we are quite restricted and we are inclined to be controlling and at times oppressive. I feel that it is time we mend our ways and stop making a fuss about things that do not concern us.

Why do we censor much of history? There is a quote that says ‘History is written by the victors.’ Is this the real reason of censorship?

- Navesh

I think much of history and even the present is being censored or to put in a better way, manipulated. This has all to do with world politics, especially the superpowers. To put it in a polite way, there are many ‘conflit d'intérêts’ and many decisions that are made with aim to bring about some positive effects but not necessarily for the whole world. 

Propagandas are made, worldwide information is manipulated and footages are even set up to boost the image of the country that gives the orders. I will avoid mentioning any names but I guess you already know which specific country I am talking about. Censorship of history has lot to do with justifying and convincing the people about their actions even if they were completely wrong and they know it. Hence, erasing a huge bunch of history that goes against their image works best.

The quote already demonstrates how subjective it is. The moment you are the victor, you have the power to manipulate the whole situation and decide which information you want to let loose and which one you want to bury. I guess we will never know the exact true history unless we have an objective mind and have access to direct inside information. Until then, we need to remain sceptic of any news provided to us.

Are there any remedies for SIDA? 

-       Keshav

There are no remedies so far but if I am not mistaken there are some treatment available to those affected by it. But hey, did you hear about the conspiracy theory that says that the USA created this virus to eradicate homosexuals and African Americans? There were supposedly some experiments being carried out on humans during the 1970s. Definitely worth a read!

How to deal with toxic people that are in my family? Like close family. Own parents kind of close.

-       Anonymous

What I would personally do is to have a one-to-one conversation with that person. I would tactfully tell that individual that I appreciate the relationship we have and I wish to maintain it. However, I am unable to see us still being close in the future with the way it is now since it is quite toxic and I am being negatively affected by it.

I would then clearly set the boundaries as to what I find okay and what I do not find okay. If the person holds as much importance to your relationship as you do, s/he will try to change and you will gradually notice it. If not, then I would take some steps back and slowly emotionally isolate myself from that person until s/he has no influence in my life.

Try not to be threatening or forceful. Keep your calm and kindly speak with that person since s/he might be taken aback and perhaps be a little offended. But remember, having nearly the same blood does not necessarily bound you to anyone. You can be grateful but you do not owe your life to anybody except yourself.

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I hope you had a good read!

Sending buckets of love your way,

Kavya H. Saikia 🌸