Violence or Love? You choose

There was this one time I had gone to a supermarket and a sudden fight broke out between two men. Having gone to an all-girls school and having not been that exposed to the greater, darker part of society, my initial response to this situation was to freeze and just observe. However, when one of them appeared with a knife and tried to stab the other, I panicked. I thought about jumping in and helping out, but realistically speaking, I am a midget compared to those people and would have probably ended up with a bloody wound.

My next response was to search for a security guard or someone who could handle this situation in a more appropriate manner. When I scanned the crowd, I was very much surprised. While someone was trying not to be killed, observers, just like me, were transfixed by the scene. But unlike me, nearly nobody made a move to help in some way. Instead, they were glued in their spots. Some had their phones out and were filming the scene while others were chatting among themselves. By the time I found a security guard, the fight had already dissolved.

In all of this commotion, I realised something.

Nobody had said a word.

There was this other time when I was in a restaurant and I was dining with my family members. Suddenly the guy on the table next to ours started speaking aggressively to one of the women on his table, who I assume was his daughter. The way he spoke to her and the words he used were violent and humiliating. At some point, the woman got up crying and just walked away. A good portion of those in the restaurant had seen the scene unfold before them.

And again, nobody said a word.

Then there were other times when I saw people, mostly couples, displaying affection, whether it be holding hands or pecking or having a full-blown kiss. In most of these cases I witnessed observers loudly expressing their disapproval. I honestly cannot say how many times I have heard the phrase ‘go buy yourselves a room’ which was mostly shouted in creole. Some even went up to the couple and either lectured or threatened or publicly humiliated or did all of it.

And this brought about another reaction.

Everybody had something to say.

After a lot of reflection, I came to this chilling conclusion.

We are actually becoming more tolerant of violence than to love.

Think about it. How many times have you seen some sort of violence, whether it be physical or moral, and tried to or seen someone try to step in to put an end to it? Now, how many times have you seen some sort of PDA and seen people comment on it without holding back? The difference is scary, right?

When I try to think about the reasons as to why we, even I, react in such a way, I can come up with only two answers. Number 1, our culture is such that displaying affection in public is frowned upon and number 2, we have become used to violence after hearing about it so much.

Perhaps after watching more and more crimes surface in our local newspapers, news channels and on international platforms, we have become indifferent to violence. And perhaps, in this process, we have also become alienated to care and love.

I have no concrete answer to these questions that have been plaguing my mind for quite a while. The irony is such that I am quite speechless and cannot come up with any other reason as to why we react in such a way. But I do have some questions for you, my dear reader.

Why do we look down upon people who choose to express their feelings even when they are in public? Why do we make a fuss when we see people hold hands or even kiss each other? Why have we made it become some sort of taboo? Why have we stopped promoting this beautiful thing called love?

I would urge you all to become tolerant love, to appreciate the way people adore and care for each other, to pay attention to the little things they do for each other and to find beauty in their happiness and their bliss. I would also make an appeal to you to step in when you can whenever there is a display of any sort of violence.

Let us not promote violence and in the same breath, oppress love, for then, we have greatly failed ourselves and the next generations to come.

Sending buckets full of love your way,

Kavya H. Saikia 🌸