Depression and Little Old Me

Have you ever been depressed? Like, really, really depressed? Where you are aware that you have neared or perhaps already reached rock bottom? If yes, then maybe this is an article you will be able to relate to. If not, I hope you have an idea of how this works after you read my perception on this issue.

Let us start by enumerating the two common myths about depression that I have read or even heard of. Either you can get ‘depressed’ for anything or telling a depressed person to be happy actually ‘helps’ that person.

No offence being made, but I’ve heard many people use this word casually and I kind of disagree with this increasing habit. “I lost my favourite pen, I am depressed.” “My shirt got stained, I am depressed.” Saying this so carelessly brings no justice to those who are really suffering from it. Using this word so often makes it lose its seriousness and impact. We have come to believe that it is a joke, just a temporary meaningless state that we’ll eventually get over with.

Let me clear that out. According to many medical studies and reports, depression can be summed up as a mental health disorder. “It is a mood disorder characterized by persistently low mood and a feeling of sadness and loss of interest. Depression is a persistent problem, not a passing one - the average length of a depressive episode is 6-8months.” Moral: We need to start making the difference between being sad and being depressed.

And this brings me to the second myth. Truth is, ordering a depressed person to stop feeling sad and start being happy is actually not going to work. Handling depression is not that easy. You cannot just snap out of it, because believe me, if you could, at least 350 million people worldwide would not be suffering from depression, ever. Who would choose sadness over happiness for so long, right?

It is much more complex actually and the reasons vary greatly for every individual. The symptoms are quite subjective to the person suffering. According to MedicalNewsToday the symptoms of depressions can include reduced interest or pleasure in activities previously enjoyed, loss of sexual desire, unintentional weight loss (without dieting) or low appetite, insomnia or hypersomnia, fatigue or loss of energy, feelings of worthlessness or guilt or even recurrent thoughts of death or suicide, or attempt at suicide, among others.

I have been depressed at least twice in my life. The first time I was able to cover it up and get over it quite easily, but the second time was much more difficult. It was after I had heard a news that shattered me and let us just say that I was drowning in guilt and remorse. Without realizing it, I fell into a spiralling hole. I was extremely and constantly lethargic and sad. I lost weight. I suffered from insomnia. And well, the days were really dark.

After many months, when I made the self-realization that I was doing really bad, I agreed to seek help from a psychologist. Fortunately, I responded well to the sessions and I was able to get back on track. I have been able to overcome this gloomy passage and thankfully, I am much better now. I owe much to those who were there for me at that time, and still are, and encouraged me to get better day after day, month after month.

In this period of my life, I learnt a few things. Firstly, there’s nothing to be ashamed of when going to see a psychologist. The way I personally see it, a psychologist is a brain/emotion doctor. Our brain is still part of our anatomy and while doctors can treat the physical part of it, psychologists are specialized in the untouchable part, if that makes sense. And like any other part of our body, the immaterial part of it can be hurt too.

Secondly, you do not get depressed because you are emotionally weak. I think we all have a limit as to how much emotional baggage we can carry. Sometimes we are able to withstand that pressure but other times, we cannot and we eventually crack. And if that ever happens, we should know that helping our own selves has to become a priority but if we cannot handle it on our own, seeking experienced help is the advisable next step.

Before ending with this article, I have a message to all those who are suffering from depression. When I was in that dark tunnel, I had removed any hope of being better again and submerged myself into it. Quite cheesy I know, but true and I guess some of you might relate to this. Thing is, this tunnel contains hundreds of doors which open up to the light outside. So, find as many keys as you can and try to open up as many doors as possible. Many of them will not open but trust me, one day, one of them definitely will.

Till then, never give up.

Sending buckets of love your way,

Kavya H Saikia 🌸