We are the bullies

Some months back, in a span of not even 14 days, various sex tapes were released on social media. They were not only displayed for the public eye to see, but were also shared over a thousand times.

Online pages with over a hundred thousand followers posted so many articles on this subject with, shockingly I must say, a slightly blurred screenshot of the video clip itself as the main image just to attract more and more viewers.

For a while, my newsfeed had become an eyesore. For several days, it was filled with memes and statuses mocking and demeaning the authors of the video clips. Ultimately, I even wanted to deactivate my social media accounts because I was so disappointed with my own generation. I thought that we were the promising future of this world but here we were, giving so much importance to a couple of people having sex rather than to more serious issues affecting our own country.

The mentality of our own people through the comments they wrote disgusted me. The girl was labelled a whore even though she was having sexual intercourse with only one person. The girl was slut-shamed and given so many names. The parents were bad mouthed. The boy was mocked for his choice of sex partner and for his ‘virility’. We came up with so many suppositions and scenarios and we judged, mocked, judged and mocked again.

But did we ever stop to think? Did we ever ask ourselves how these videos came to be online? Did we ever ask ourselves how old they were? Did we ever consider how the couple as well as their families would be feeling? Did we ever show any ounce of understanding, sympathy or, I might even add, maturity?

We were all so set in our own path of self-righteousness that we forgot that each and every one of us are humans. And, cue the drumroll, humans make mistakes. I have made countless mistakes while growing up and I still do. Just like you. Just like anybody else. But would I have appreciated it if a single mistake of mine was publicised and criticised by the whole population? If everyone suddenly came up to me and openly announced what they thought of me in not so flattering words? If thousands of statuses were posted on every social media based on this single mistake? Would you?

I was personally told that the authors of the clips were the guilty ones. They should blame themselves for having released a sex tape in the first place. They should be the ones to be blamed for this to become so viral. And that they should just assume the consequences. But again, how could you be so sure that they were the ones who posted it? How could you say that they were the only ones to be blamed? Last time I checked, every post had either a ‘report’ or ‘share’ option. You had a choice. What did you choose?

Many were also outraged by the sexual content of the video and for the mere fact that it was a sex-tape. Ironically, these were the people who were the number one fans of 50 Shades of Grey. We turn a blind eye to every movie or music clip showing explicit sex scenes, including the image of the bare penis and vagina, but get all worked up because of a short video. And funnily enough, these may most be probably the ones who are regular viewers of pornographic sites. How hypocritical is that?

A few months back an interesting TV show on bullying went viral; 13 Reasons Why. All those who watched it showed tons of compassion for the one who was bullied and even cried for her. It was great to see such a reaction from people just because of a fictional story for, finally, maybe they understand what being bullied really feels like. And I ask again, how do we react to real events?

I understand the need to be socially accepted and contributing to everything that is viral. I also know that we have a brain and we have the ability to think and reason. Everything in the media is not necessarily good. So I would ask you to think twice and weigh down every decision you make.

You may think that you will not be making any difference, but believe me you do. The power we have been vested with by social media can either make us a bully, a mere observer or a saviour. Again, it is up to no one but to you to choose. 

Sending buckets full of love your way,

Kavya H. Saikia 🌸