Anecdotes out of anecdotes

When I was 14 I lost my Dad to the last stage of throat cancer. My parents had travelled to his birth country, India, for his treatment on the day of my birthday and returned two months later. On the day they returned, my father was admitted to the hospital urgently and unfortunately due to his nearly, if not totally, inexistent white blood cell count (after all the chemotherapy he had been through), he succumbed to his disease.

I will never forget that day. Quite cheesy, but it has been engraved in my brain ever since. In the morning, my brother and I had just received our school results and surprisingly (for it never happened again) I was first in one of my favourite subjects. I was impatient to see my father’s reaction when I would show it to him on his hospital bed but by the time we had reached there, it was too late.

From then, it was quite a blur. I remember my Mom, brother and relatives crying, me trying to comfort my Mom, having to text my close friends of what had happened, receiving phone calls and messages of sympathy, people coming to my house to show respect and bid their farewell and then, after all the ceremonies were over, trying to resume life.

I would like to say that I matured that day. My world had overturned and I began to see things in a very different way. My innocence and ignorance had been replaced by some amount of maturity and calmness. My father died in a peaceful way. I was glad he did not suffer severe agony, for if he had lived, he would have had to have tubes attached to his throat, have countless visits to the doctor and if the cancer had come back, go through all the treatment again. He always used to be quite independent and died a fighter. That alone was my solace.

Since then, I have learned to appreciate life and make the most of it. My motto was and still is “Mould your life the way you want it to be regardless of what others think.” The thing is, life can end anytime, anywhere and anyhow. You never know when is your last day or even your last breath. So, I decided to live a life that I would not regret. I have made many decisions and countless mistakes, for which I have received much criticism, and I do not regret any. Instead, I have decided to learn and grow from them.

I have also learned to cherish every person and every memory. It’s true that I have been backstabbed many times and lost friends who were once very close to me. However, I learned to forgive, move on and remember every happy memory I once lived with them. I trained my brain to see the positive in everyone and in every situation, for life is too short to be forever angry and grudging. Besides, while losing some, I have gained others who now mean the world to me.

Though I would never compare the pain I’ve been through to that of another person, I have tried to understand theirs. Everyone carries a baggage and not everyone has someone to share it with. I have seldom opened up about my Dad as it was quite difficult, but when I did, I felt somehow a bit lighter and with time it has become much easier. I have come to realize that even if I have been through a storm, there are others going through hurricanes. I made it a must to help them as much as I could by always keeping an open ear or by giving advice when it was needed.

The death of my father was quite a turning point. Sometimes, I have glimpses of our times together and often I see bits of him in everyone around me; his kindness, his humour, his kids-are-embarrassed dance moves. 6 years have gone by and I still hope to see him physically in front of me. Nevertheless, I love my life just how it is even if some things could have been better, but hey, how can you call it life if it does not suck a little bit, right?

I know this article is not much and hopefully I have not bored you with one of the major events that has changed me. The least I can do is to gently ask you to always cherish everyone in your life and to live your life the way you want to as long as you are not hurting yourself. Most importantly, to never nurture anger or any other negative emotions. These are part of the main lessons dear life has taught me.

Life is short and we are all young. I hope you love yours just like I love mine.

                         

Sending buckets full of love your way,

Kavya H. Saikia 🌸